I can't even make this stuff up!

So being on call one night, I get a message from the local animal control officer with something involving a bat and a monkey and a lady. I return his call and he proceeded to explain the following:

A lady in a nearby town was bitten (what i thought was bat) by a neighbor's pet monkey. He was calling for a professional opinion about what to recommend to the lady. She had initial refused to get medical attention. I did my duty and stressed the fact that she NEEDED to be seen ASAP by a doctor. Not only can monkey's have things like rabies, but they also carry tons of other nasty diseases they can transmit to humans = NOT COOL.

The best part of the conversation was when he proceeded to tell me that the owner of the monkey had taken the monkey and hidden it from him. He then proceeded to tell the animal control officer that he could go f*(#& himself and he would never find his G@*(! D&^!@ monkey. Needless to say there is a warrant out on the monkey and it's owner right now :)